Perspective

I had intended this to be a morning post however due to my lack of ability to get out of bed I am now posting this pm.  I really do admire those who can just jump out of bed! For me, regardless of how much sleep I have, every morning feels like a battle. One where the bed usually wins and I end up staying about half hour (cough an hour) longer in bed.

I have another week and a half and then I’ll be making my way back home for the summer. It has been so long since I’ve gone back home for longer than two weeks. I’m looking forward to going back seeing friends and family and not having to rush, squeezing as many visits to people I haven’t seen in a while. I can go back and relax.

For as long as I can remember I’ve pushed and pushed to be the best I can, trying to find a good career, wanting to move away from home and live my life. As I’ve gone through Uni it has been a massive awakening – to find out I’m the most confused about my future than I ever have been.  I guess I’ve been so focused on getting to the next step, whether that be moving away going to University, finding a placement, living away, that I haven’t really stood back and thought – what do I want? What do I like doing? What work makes me the most happy?

So I guess that’s what I’m doing. I’m taking myself away from all the madness and the changes and just going back to what feels like home. It’s a very unnatural thing for me to do.

I still have one year left at University which I start back in October, so really I just need to calm my impatience.
I don’t know where this impatience comes from, I’ve always been so eager to just do things – and if I’m not happy with something I make a fast decision and I change it. I’m not one to sit and just think or even let things happen for themselves. I’m a firm believer in – if you want something, you need to get off your ass and get it! 

This is now the problem that I’m facing. I’m dying to be doing something, finding myself and chasing a goal but I just don’t know what?! All this pent up energy that is just waiting to be explored – with no direction.

As I’ll be going back to Wales, expect lots of photos of the beach. As I’m hoping that’s where I’ll be spending most of my time.

Rest Bay, Porthcawl – Beautiful 

 

 

 

Positive Thought #7

I must confess that I have been extremely lacking with my positive thinking tracking. I originally stated I wanted to blog every evening with one positive thought that came from the previous 24 hours. (See original post).

However the past week or two I have been extremely busy, so when the evening finally comes around – all I can think about is face planting my pillow. Rather annoyingly my positive thinking blogging has taken a back burner during this hectic time.

I have noticed a difference; when I haven’t taken the time during my evenings to sit at my laptop whilst drinking my cup of tea and reflect with positive eyes over the events during the past 24 hours. I can honestly say, having these quiet moments to understand your day and select these positive feelings/achievements/conversations brings another way of thinking to how you see your day. 
I would like to compare it to practicing yoga. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert in yoga either, but often I go to yoga classes in the evenings as a way of removing myself from the day and just relax. Spending dedicated time just with your thoughts is an amazing way to clear whats in your mind. I’ve found by blogging about my day I have this similar feeling of clearing my mind, filtering my thoughts into smaller pieces and understanding myself.

So rather than seeing the negative in the fact I haven’t been blogging in a while – I will try and put my positive hat on and see the good.

I have been manically busy, because at present I’m doing my placement year with a company whilst holding down a part time job. This means many of my days are split between the two and I feel like I’m running all over the place doing both.
I am really enjoying the challenges that are in both! I feel like my brain is constantly needing to be active and focused. My days are both filled with learning and work.

Recently I’ve had some really nice feedback of my work at both my placement and my job. Recognition of the hard work I’ve been putting in is welcomed tremendously! It’s nice to know that my hard work hasn’t gone unnoticed. It just makes me more determined to do better. Doing my work placement year has been an invaluable experience! I’ve had a lot of changes throughout but I’m starting to understand myself a lot better; whats important to me, how I like to work, what is it that drives me, which is starting to help me understand how I want to live my life.

 

Something that I need to still improve on is prioritising my time better. In my head there are so many things I’d like to be doing better; playing the piano more often, reading, learning new skills (Photoshop, music production etc), blogging more often, seeing friends on a regular basis, going to the gym more often. I never seem to have the time to get stuck in and feel like I’m progressing in any one of these areas. I’ve been reading a lot on Quora recently, about how people learn new skills at different ages and what it takes to train yourself. It’s very interesting reading about people’s experiences with developing themselves.
One of my favourites was a question from someone asking if he was too old to learn an instrument. One of the answers gave an example of their grandmother who had started learning the violin at 60 and when she died she had been playing for 25 years.  This is an incredible example of how anything is possible at ANY age. It really does put things into perspective, and the possibilities around you.

🙂

Positive Thought #6

This weekend as a last minute decision I took the three hour journey back to my home in Wales. As it was Mother’s Day on the Sunday I thought it would be nice to visit to everyone for the day.
So I guess the positive thing from my weekend was family / home.  I always love going back home to Wales. As soon as I cross the Seven Bridge I instantly feel at home.

When I was younger, I was so desperate to leave Wales, venture out and experience more than I had done in the small town where I’m from. Over the few years since I’ve left, I’ve come to appreciate my home.  The people that are in it and of course my family. I guess this appreciation has comes with distance.
For people that have never been to Wales it’s hard to explain the differences from the rest of the country. They are only minor differences in themselves, however as a whole the country feels very different, especially in attitudes.

I got to spend some quality time with my sister, which is always so lovely. As kids it’s pretty fair to say we didn’t get on. We are only two years apart so I guess this in normal for sisters. Now we’ve had some time apart and we’ve grown up we seem to be much closer. It feels more like we’re on the same team against my parents. As apposed to us battling, and our parents being the referees.
We get to have the girly chats, much like the ones I have with my friends – which I suppose she is my friend. Over time, it feels like we can tolerate our differences, which weren’t the easiest thing to do when your a teenager.

One of the best reasons I love going home is to harass my dog! You can see my obsession in more detail in my previous post – Introducing Woody.
Here’s a photo – because it’s too cute not to.

 

So I’d say in conclusion, the positive element of this weekend is appreciation of my family 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Positive Thought #5

Following on from my previous post  where I plan to document one positive thing from each day.  The positive part of my day was that this morning I made the effort to get my ass down the gym! I’ve been feeling very motivated recently and I think it’s because I’ve started training on a regular basis. For me, I find if I do a good hour session at the gym it releases me from the day, a way of getting my brain to focus on one task and to completely relax.

I’ve got a good gym plan now that i’m powering through trying to push myself further. I have a good support around me in terms of people I can go to for advice. About a year ago my sister really got into fitness, learning how to develop herself physically as well as mentally. This has rubbed off on me, so I can go to her when I need anything!

Also one of my friends is a personal trainer. She has one of these infectiously passionate personalities where you can’t help but get enthralled by her vast amount of knowledge and dedication to improving other people. She is driven by the fact she is helping others succeed and fulfill their goals. This passion shines out of her, and it literally makes me want to hit the gym immediately.
Have a little look at her website

With all this around me I cannot help but feel like I need to pull my weight (quite literally).

Having a good balance with work, social life, exercise (well for me anyways) it makes such a huge impact on my general happiness day to day. If I lack in any of these areas I start to feel a bit imbalanced and as though I’m not getting the most out of myself. This week as a whole I’ve been pretty good. I’ve had some much needed time with my girls, the other half and some gym time.

What was positive about your day?

Positive Thought #4

I read my horoscope yesterday, which is something that I don’t often do. I’m not majorly into horoscope and astrology however from time to time I enjoy reading what might come of the next month.
Well it just so happened that my horoscope read ‘you should take the time with a friend or lover as you have both had testing weeks, and enjoy some quality time’. I don’t need to be asked twice.

That evening with my ‘lover’  we went on a little date night, had food and just spent some quality time with each other. Even though it was a Thursday evening I think it was a good choice to remove ourselves from the chaos of the week and just enjoy being with the two of us.

I think it’s very important to have moments like these! Whether it’s with friends or partners. It makes you appreciate what you have and allow yourselves to reconnect. I see very often couples for example that may live together not really enjoying each other, just simply existing next to each other.

Taking the opportunity when you can – even for a couple of hours is invaluable! If you don’t have the time, make the time. As the gap between the relationship will just keep growing. The day to day stresses can cause you to take it out on the ones who are closest to you, so from time to time appreciating the relationship and reminding yourselves why you are with each other brings you closer.

Oh and this is completely irrelevant to the rest of the post, but I saw these photographs today and it made me smile, so I thought I would share it 🙂

See link for the full album
(Images by Elke Vogelsang)

Positive Thought #3

My positive thing from today would be having great friends!

It goes without saying; that having a close group of friends is priceless! I have made such lovely friends at University, something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Having the support from your friends can truly bring another sense of happiness to yourself.

Hours of chatting about dramas, gossips, guys obviously.  It removes yourself from your own troubles and worries when your with your friends. Mainly because you can share your worries and they can offer honest advice with the best intentions. And also you absorb yourself in their lives and offer your support.

My friends came down to see me, and we had a lovely day – catching up on the latest events. It also reminds me that we are slowly growing up (unfortunately). As the gossips that are brought to the table nowadays have changes over the past year.
Friends are having babies, moving in together, settling down in relationships. It all reflects the changes that are happening in our lives and it is amazing to be able to share this with your friends.

It’s true they say as long as your have your friends – you will be happy!

Positive Thought #2

Day 2

Today was a much more productive day than yesterday! I was busy throughout the day but for once it felt like I was ticking things off my to do list. Which is always such a delightful feeling.

My positive thing from today would be amongst all the hectic events of the day I had giggle fit for about ten minutes.
I saw an article which read 40 Hilariously Honest Notes From Kids. A brilliant read!

This is a snapshot of one of my favourite letters from one particular child:

I love the pure honestly that comes with the mind of a child, so brutally honest yet so innocent. I guess it was a lovely break during my day to have the biggest giggling fit reading endearing comments by children.

I’m really enjoying at the end of my day sitting down with my cup of tea and sieving through the events of the day only focusing on the positives and looking at what impact it had on my day. It does start to make a difference in how I perceive how well the day has gone.
If you haven’t already had a look – I did a post  on TEDtalks who did a brilliant talk on how to be more productive with positive thinking. I’m giving myself the 21 day challenge, as suggested in the video, to journal one positive element of the past 24 hours.
Even though today was only a small ten minutes of laughter, it really gave my day a little lift.

How was your day?

 

That’s One Off the List

This week I was finally able to cross something off my bucket list – Donating blood.
I went with a friend from work clearly for morale support. I hadn’t really thought about the fact I was going to have 1 pint of blood taken from me. I do know that sounds ridiculous, but it hit me when we arrived, when I could see about 7 people hooked up to their own little donation stations: All doing their good deed for the day. At which point I started to become nervous.

After having my medical check, I was then ready to sit in the donating chair. (Which were amazing). The chairs were a sort of arm chair that swung back – similarly to garden furniture but on a swing mechanism, that tilted backwards.

The nurse that was assigned to me was very reassuring and kept me chatting the whole way which was lovely 🙂 Thanks Peter!

It didn’t actually hurt as much as I thought it would. The worst part for me was the little pin prick they do to test your blood before hand. That I always hate that.

I was hooked up to the machine and waited until the required amount had been taken, which for me was 9.44 seconds.

All was fine, I had done it!
The process of getting out of the chair however was a little more problematic. To ensure that you don’t faint with the rush of blood when you stand up, they bring the chair up in stages to allow you body change to balance.
Apparently my body didn’t want to balance out and instead gave me the feelings of fainting. It was not very pleasant at all! Every time I would get to the half way point, I would have a horrible feeling in my stomach and then my head would start to become all rushy and the edges of my vision started to blacken. The nurse then pushed to chair straight back down and then rush of blood straight back to my head would make me feel better again. This went on for another 45 minutes. Which was highly frustrating and embarrassing!

In the end after eating 4 chocolate bars and biscuits, I was finally feeling better to leave.
Apparently it affects people in different ways, and a number of things could have contributed to me feeling faint.
The amount I ate (which I thought I’d done pretty well), relief as it was over being my first time, my weight, bloody pressure.

Overall I’m very glad I’ve done it, and was lovely to know that my donation will save three people’s lives. 

I will definitely carry on giving blood when I can. Although I had a little problem after the donation it really wasn’t as bad as I thought. Was very quick and easy. My only suggestion is to make sure you eat a lot!

 

 

 

 

‘If I Wear a Mask’

I’ve been playing the piano for sixteen years, and along the way I’ve realised I love to sing. It has been a way for me to completely relax and let go. It’s my meditation if you will.
However I’ve always hated playing and singing in front of anyone! The thought of someone listening to me literally makes my stomach do somersaults. Writing this post even, send a rush of fear through me. It really baffles me how and why I get so nervous?

I’ve always liked being in my little bubble where no one can hear me and I can do what I like.

I guess it’s the worry of people judging something that you love to do.

I’ve always wanted to try and be comfortable with playing in front of people, because I love to play and it would be amazing to share my passion with people.  An experience is always better shared right?

I do not intend to say I’m very good, but if someone can get enjoyment out of it like I can then I would be happy.

Please feel free to leave your thoughts 🙂

The World’s Your Oyster

After reading through my most recent posts I felt my blog is missing a deeper insight into me as a person. So I thought I would brain dump some thoughts I’m having.
Like most students I still (after 3 years) have no idea what I want to do in life. So I’ve decided that – when I finish University, if I haven’t found a job that I’m particularly interested in pursuing then I would like to move country.

I’ve always thought the idea of moving abroad was a distant dream. Something that I would always want to do – but never actually getting round to making the leap of faith. Finishing University however gives me the opportunity to make the most of my lack of responsibilities.

I want to learn a new culture and push myself out of my comfort zone. I really feel the strength you build when you have totally left all your own comforts and have to re build your life, is something truly invaluable.

There are so many people that are middle aged with a family and are settled with their lives. All wishing they had done more, pushed themselves further, had the confidence to see through their dreams. I do not want to be like this.
I don’t think I could settle into my life unless I had really seen what else is out there, what else life has to offer. How can so many people feel fulfilled by just doing a mediocre job, letting each day pass by, existing not living?

In fear of becoming one of these people I am trying to live by the idea that, if I’m not happy about my current situation – I will change it; whether that be my job, where I’m living, my happiness. 

I’ve recently been thinking about the possibility of moving to a new country. Every time I think about it, it fills me with excitement.  To make this a realistic goal and one that I can achieve I was thinking about ways I can work and earn a living in a foreign country. This would enable me to see myself sustaining a workable life, rather than a long holiday.
One option that seems to be the most inviting is teaching English. The benefit of being British is that English is in fact my native language. This alone can open many doors.

I’ve been informed that I will need some sort of qualification, and the most popular is the TEFL certification, (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). I haven’t looked a lot into it yet as I still have another year of University to go, which gives me plenty of time. But I definitely think by having this under my belt it gives me the opportunity to work in almost any country.
At the moment I’m flirting with the idea of living in somewhere in Europe (CzechRepublic, Austria, Holland, Germany). I’ve been reading lots of other people’s stories of how they have moved to a few of these places and loved them.

You don’t necessarily need to move to the other side of the world to experience a rich culture and live a new way of life. Well that’s what I believe in any case.

So… I have 16 months until I graduate, and counting.

I’d love to hear if you have made the leap of moving to a new country, and if you have any experience with obtaining a TEFL qualification?
Fire any tips my way 🙂